Background

Homeless stint, poor judgement, college graduate, law school dropout.

Why I'm the best person for the job

I'm an outsider, and that makes me the best candidate for the job. Because those on the inside are getting all the booty while I still try to survive like a regular slug, that makes me the ideal candidate. I would do everything I can to enrich myself and other plutocrats with no regard for the plight of the impoverished or the common good. Gordon Gekko is my role model and he comes to me in dreams providing fashion tips and pec shots. As you can see I'm more than qualified to take the mantle from Lloyd Blankfein and Jamie Dimon. They will look like pikers after I'm finished. Please contact me for references.